Boost your libido for a greater sex life!
Do you ever feel the need to boost your libido? Can you remember the last time you had sex? Do you worry there’s something wrong with you because you don’t want sex as much as you used to? It’s natural for our sex drives to fluctuate over time, based on what’s going on in our bodies, lives, and relationships. But if you want to kick start your sex drive and enjoy your sex life again, you’re not alone. Here are 12 ways you can naturally boost your libido.
#1 MASTURBATE MORE
Masturbation offers multiple health benefits from reduced stress to better sleep to (in some cases) reducing headaches, period cramps, and even anxiety. It’s not exactly a miracle cure, but close enough. You might masturbate to feel better physically and realize that you have more energy and desire for sex. But solo sex is also a great way to learn more about your body and your sexual desires. The more you touch yourself or use a sex toy to get off, the more you learn what feels good and how your body responds to sexual pleasure. First, masturbate to relax, then masturbate to feel good. Ultimately, it will increase your libido so you and your partner can enjoy each more.
#2 APHRODISIAC FOODS
If you’re skeptical that food can make you horny, you’re not alone. Foods that act as aphrodisiacs aren’t a miracle cure for lack of desire. What many of these foods do is help you relax, increase dopamine (a feel-good neurotransmitter in the brain), relax blood cells, or contain antioxidants. All of these things work to help you relax and be more open to sexual pleasure. Some aphrodisiacs include oysters, watermelon, dark chocolate, berries, green vegetables, celery, avocado, figs, garlic, and more. Incorporate more of these foods into your daily diet and, over time, you may be surprised at how excited you become about sex again.
#3 DRINK LESS ALCOHOL
Having a couple of drinks with friends or your partner can be fun. Getting drunk, however, isn’t great for your sexual encounters. Alcohol is a depressant which means your mind and body slow down, you don’t respond as well to stimuli, and it’s definitely more difficult to focus on your partner. A glass of wine or a single drink is usually fine. Much more than that, and your entire night might be ruined. Over time, too much alcohol can impact your overall performance during sex, making it difficult to become or stay aroused. It can also lead to awkward encounters where no one has a good time. So, don't go on binge drinking!
#4 SCHEDULE SOME INTIMATE TIME
When you’re not feeling a lot of desire, it may simply be because you haven’t made it a priority. Schedule some time alone with yourself first -- masturbate. Then, schedule a romantic date with your partner. Dress in something that makes you feel sexy or attractive. Focus on your partner through conversation, dancing, or simply with small touches. You can also schedule sex with your partner, especially if it’s been a while since you’ve gotten naked together. It might feel like it kills the mood, but in reality it can increase your anticipation, making you even more aroused and excited.
#5 EXAMINE YOUR RELATIONSHIPS
Is your libido low because things aren’t quite right in your relationship? It may be time to take a look and see where things have gotten stuck, fallen into a boring rut, or aren’t working. Communicate with your partner. Discuss the small things that are bothering you and listen to what your partner has to say. Once you’ve cleared the air -- and it may take time -- it’s easier to reach out to each other in more intimate ways. Let your partner know you find them attractive. Tell them when you want them sexually. Even if you can’t act on those feelings, it’s still good to hear it. Make sure your partner knows you need to hear it from them, too.
#6 IMPROVE YOUR MINDFULNESS
A lack of libido, especially in women, is often due to stress. We have so much going on in our lives that sex can feel like one more thing on our to-do list which is almost never good for sexual arousal. You can’t magically make your to-do list disappear, but you can reduce your stress about it by practicing mindfulness. Try meditation, yoga, or tai chi. Find ways to relax your mind and body. Incorporate deep breathing. Even a few minutes of focusing on inhaling and then exhaling can clear your mind. Once you’re no longer distracted by everything else around you, it’s much easier to focus on how you feel when you’re aroused and during sex, allowing you to enjoy the moment even more.
#7 EXERCISE REGULARLY
Exercise is good for the body on a lot of levels. It helps you maintain a healthy weight and strengthens your muscles. Even better, it improves your stamina and can boost your self-confidence, which is always good for sex. Exercise increases oxygen flow to all of your organs, including your genitals which increases stimulation and sensitivity. You don’t have to commit to hours in the gym in order to feel a positive impact from exercise. Walking for 30 minutes a day, swimming, running, playing sports with your friends, and yes, going to the gym, are all great ways to incorporate more exercise into your life.
#8 BOOST YOUR SELF-CONFIDENCE
Anything you can do to help see yourself as the sexy person you are and increase your self-confidence can also improve your sex drive. Some basic things you can do include eating healthy foods and exercising more. Taking care of your body can help you appreciate it more and improve self-esteem, especially as you learn what it’s capable of. Doing things you enjoy or trying new hobbies can certainly help. Hiking, cycling, belly dancing, Zumba, and other physical activities put you in touch with your body which can boost your self-confidence. Don’t forget that doing other non-physical things can help too -- learning a new language, finishing a project, learning a new skill. Feeling good about yourself out of the bedroom helps you feel good in the bedroom.
#9 FIND WAYS TO UNWIND
Let’s face it, when we’re in high-stress situations we’ll ignore the things that we know help because we feel like we don’t have time for them. If this is you, you’re going to have to rethink your strategy. You might not be able to make the stressors go away, but you’ve got to find ways to relax so that stress doesn’t consume you. Listening to music that soothes you, soaking in a tub, getting a massage, or enjoying time alone can all help you unwind and stop thinking about things for a little while. Self-care isn’t a luxury, it’s a necessity -- for your mental and physical health. You don’t have to have a lot of time or money. This means to do something for yourself every day, even if it’s going to bed a little earlier can make a huge difference.
#10 LOOK FOR THE POSITIVE
Science has found that when we fake a smile, we can sometimes trick our brain into feeling more positive. With a happy mind comes a happy life. Being positive and optimistic doesn’t mean bad things don’t happen. It just means that you aren’t consumed by the negative things around you. Looking for the bright side or finding a reason to laugh when things get tough is good for your life in general, and it’s especially good for your libido. Optimism and positivity allow you to put down the stressors in your life temporarily and enjoy something you love like sex.
#11 GET IN THE MOOD
Much like faking a smile in order to feel happy, sometimes you have to fake it until you make it with sex too. No, we don’t mean faking an orgasm -- never do that. Instead, get yourself into the mood for sex by getting your room and yourself ready for it. Put out aromatic candles, your favorite sex toys, and lube. Turn on the music that sounds sexiest to you. Read some erotica or watch porn. Wear some sexy lingerie. Masturbate. All of these things are part of the preparation for sex. When you do them, you may find that you’re in the mood when you’re done, even if you weren’t when you started. It’s like you hacked your own libido.
#12 CONSULT A DOCTOR / EXPERT
If you’ve done everything you can think of by yourself, and your sex drive is still nearly gone, it’s time to talk to a doctor or a professional. There may be some underlying physical or mental problems that need to be identified and dealt with. This could be something related to your hormones or birth control. It may be a mental health issue like anxiety or depression. You may need relationship counseling to deal with problems between you and your partner. You know when something isn’t right with your body, your mind, or your life. Once you’ve tried everything you can safely do on your own, it may be time to get help from an outside source that you trust.
A lack of libido isn’t something you just have to accept. You can boost your sex drive and get back to enjoying sex again. Spend a little time with yourself to figure out what you need and take care of yourself in the process. If anything failed, you can try Addyi as a backup plan. More and better sex is only one benefit you’ll experience as a result. Like what you read?
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