Is this a delighting vice?
Masturbation, the safest sex available, is often a source of embarrassment, teasing, and snarky comments about hairy palms. Although many people feel shame about their masturbation habit or tell themselves they shouldn’t do it at all, it’s a healthy and satisfying means of self-pleasure.
What is Masturbation?
The simplest definition of masturbation is that it’s a way to stimulate one’s own genitals to produce a sexually gratifying sensation until you orgasm. An orgasm isn’t required for masturbation to feel good but for many people, it’s the entire point. Some call masturbation “self-love” or “solo sex.” Whatever you call it, it’s what makes you feel good and can, for some people, help you relax, feel good, and be healthier about your own sexual pleasure.
Myths about Masturbation!
People believe plenty of myths about masturbation. Many people learn some myths as kids in school when everyone is figuring out their own body and learning about sexual pleasure. Other myths come from family, society, and even religion. Regardless of what you may have heard, masturbation will not lead to:
● Erectile dysfunction
● Physical weakness
● Unsatisfying sex or relationships
Masturbation will not send you to hell or whatever your religion teaches you about the afterlife. Unlike some online crusaders against the practice, the clitoris is not the “devil’s doorbell.” Stimulating your own body and making yourself feel good are not inherently bad, and you are not bad for doing it. Sex is a natural function of the body, and sexual pleasure is a natural byproduct of that including sex with yourself.
How to Masturbate?
Everyone develops their own favorite technique in masturbation. After a few times, you’ll realize what feels really good and what doesn’t. The simplest method is to put your hands on your genitals – penis or vulva – stroke, rub, or tap until you feel something good. You can and should experiment with other ways of touching yourself.
Stroking Your Penis
● Cup your testicles with one hand while stroking your penis with the other.
● Play with your glans (the tip of your penis) if it’s sensitive and feels good.
● Place your finger on the patch of skin just under your testicles just before your anus. That’s known as the perineum. For some people, it feels good when it’s stroked, tapped, or touched.
● Insert a finger or sex toy into your anus for prostate massage while your touch your penis.
● Put on a cock ring to restrict blood flow while you masturbate. This will keep you harder, longer and make your orgasm bigger when you finally get off.
● Use a masturbation stroker or sleeve instead of your hand.
● Use lube with any masturbation method – toy or hand – to make it feel even better.
Touching Your Vulva and Vagina
Masturbation is one of the simplest ways to feel sexual pleasure, but for many women it’s a difficult thing to do. First, you have to move beyond whatever family, religion, or society taught you about touching yourself. Then you have to figure out what feels good. Some people enjoy clitoral stimulation. Some like penetration and/or g-spot stimulation. Others need and want both.
** Clitoral Stimulation **
Your clitoris looks and feels a bit like a button at the top of your vulva. It’s on the outside of your body and without direct stimulation doesn’t feel like much of anything. From the outside, the clitoris looks really small but it actually goes fairly deep into your body. Its only purpose is pleasure and it has thousands upon thousands of nerve endings. For some people, a little stimulation goes a long way. You can use your fingers or a vibrator to make your clitoris feel good.
** G-Spot Stimulation **
The g-spot is on the inside of your vagina. It was “discovered” (like Columbus “discovered” America – meaning it was already there and he stumbled upon it) by Dr. Grafenberg. Today, some scientists don’t believe it really exists and others say it’s actually a joining of the vaginal and clitoral parts of the body. Either way, for some women, when the g-spot is stimulated, it feels really good and causes big orgasms.
To find the g-spot and figure out if it feels good to you:
● Insert one or two fingers into your vagina.
● Hook your fingers and make a “come here” motion
● Your fingers should touch the anterior (top) wall of your vagina – the side facing up when you’re laying on your back.
● Feel for a ridged area that doesn’t feel quite like the rest of your vagina. That’s like the g-spot.
● If it feels good, tap or stroke that area.
You can use your fingers, dildos, rabbit style vibrators, and almost anything that safely penetrates your body to masturbate by tapping your g-spot. Some people even use vegetables or hairbrush handles, although it’s important to make sure you only put very clean items into your body.
** G-Spot and Clitoral Stimulation Together **
Some people need both g-spot and clitoral stimulation to orgasm. During masturbation, you can use both hands or a sex toy to accomplish this. It can take a bit of practice to find the right method, tempo, and intensity. It’s often fun to invite your partner in on the fun and let them focus on one part (g-spot or clitoris) while you focus on the other.
Getting Yourself In the Mood!
For some people, they masturbate out of habit or because they saw someone they found attractive. If that’s all you need, great! But other people, especially women, often need a bit more stimulation. Even if you don’t always need it, you might want a little help getting yourself aroused as this can make masturbation even more fun.
● Listen to an erotic audiobook. Check out Fantasy Store.
● Read some erotica while masturbating – known as a one-handed read.
● Watch porn and masturbate during or after.
● With permission, watch your partner masturbate if that turns you on.
Pros and Cons of Masturbation!
For the vast majority of people who enjoy it, masturbation is a fun, healthy thing to do. It offers plenty of physical, mental, and emotional benefits.
Pro: Learn About Yourself
The more you touch yourself in pleasure, the more you learn what you like. With your hand(s) or with a sex toy, you learn what turns you on and what gets you off. Over time, you become more comfortable being sexual with your own body and have better sex because you know what you like. It also helps to improve your self-esteem too.
Pro: Ease Your Pain
Masturbation can ease menstrual cramps during your period. They can also help ease headaches and muscle tension. Post-menopausal women can use masturbation as a way to maintain their sexual function. In some cases, this can mean less vaginal dryness that is most often associated with menopause.
Pro: Relieve Tension
When you masturbate and orgasm, your body releases feel-good hormones. This elevates your mood and helps you relax from stress. Feeling annoyed or anxious? Go masturbate. It’s also a good way for pregnant women to feel more comfortable and less tense – as long as your pregnancy isn’t high risk.
Pro: Keeps You Healthy
Masturbation has been shown to lower blood pressure and help you sleep better. It also increases blood flow to your sexual organs which keeps them healthy. Recent studies have found that frequent ejaculation, including through masturbation, lowers the risk of prostate cancer in men, as well.
Pro: Improves Sex
Masturbation improves sex on a few levels. One, when you know what you enjoy, you’re better able to tell your partner what you like. You can use masturbation as foreplay and get yourself warmed up. The two of you can masturbate for each other or simply masturbate at the same time. In fact, if you want, masturbation can be all that you do together. It’s all up to you, but masturbation will help you express your desires and feel more pleasure. As such, you will lead a more fulfilling sex life.
Nothing is perfect, of course, so there can be – for some people – a downside to masturbation.
Con: Using Masturbation as a Replacement
Some might call it an addiction, but like any other kind of addiction, masturbation may be used as a replacement. In this case, as a replacement for sex and intimacy with other people. One sign is that you may be ignoring your partner or feeling less desire for them, preferring to masturbate instead.
Con: Decreased Sexual Sensitivity
While rare, it is possible to be overly aggressive in your masturbation stimulation. What this can mean, for some people, is that you end up needing more and more stimulation to feel the same pleasure. What some people tell themselves is that masturbation has killed their sex drive. Instead it’s that they need a different level of sensation.
Con: Disrupted Daily Life
If your masturbation habit keeps you from living your normal daily life, it can indicate a problem. Missing work, school, or social activities so you can masturbate means it’s disrupting your life and may not be good for you.
Overall, masturbation is a wonderful way to express your desire, learn more about yourself, and make your mind and body feel good. Get yourself off, turn your partner on, and maybe even sleep better at night. Masturbation isn’t something to shy away from but to embrace, as long as it continues to be a healthy practice. Like what you read? [CLICK TO TWEET] now or leave comments below.